Have you ever met a person that seems to thrive on chaos and drama? I have. In my work and in my writing I write and discuss this often. When a person has spent their entire life being raised in a dysfunctional family for example, they get used to chaos. When there is nothing swirling around in their heads they will either obsess over stuff or create crap in their heads to get them upset. Some people seek situations in life to get involved in that is either not their business or they will feed on other people's problems. This is because when there are moments of peace and calm in their heads they feel like something is wrong, they are not use to peace and calmness. Without fail they will find something to cause chaos and will self sabotage themselves because the peace feels wrong, uncomfortable, or they think they don't deserve to feel peace. Chaos makes them comfortable. Just as there are receptors in our brains that crave such things as drugs, sweets, coffee whatnot. There are receptors in the brain that crave emotions such as chaos, anger, even poor decision making skills which believe it or not, creates a stimulus in our brain. When we try to change a behavior these receptors get hungry missing the stimulus. This is why it is so easy to resort back to unhealthy behaviors. Have a good day. --Keith
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In any relationship arguments are going to happen. We argue with ourselves (lol) much less others. So since arguments are bound to happen then the only thing left to do is learn to argue fairly. There is a way to do this. The leading cause for relationship break -ups are poor communication skills. The first thing in an argument is to take turns listening to each other. Next is to stick to the subject at hand. Don't bring up issues from three years ago. This will take you off of the subject and then you will not remember what was the original issue. Of course no name calling, no violence, no talking about each other's family members. Another thing is, if your wrong admit it, own up to your crap. All of this takes practice. There isn't anyway out of arguing, actually it's healthy to argue as long as it is done fairly. Arguments are not about winning , they are about compromise and trying to find a solution. Sometimes the resolution may be no solution. Have a good day.--Keith
I see my five year old grandson most everyday. The other day as we sat on the porch eating peanuts and I listening to the funny things he says , I was swept by such an emotional feeling. Thankfulness and realization of how lucky I am were the feelings that swept my body. Then a mild sadness crept its way into my thoughts. These thoughts were such things as, before I know it he will be hanging with friends instead of me. He will not want to spend the nights on Tuesday evenings anymore because of more interest in being at home. As he grows, school activities will keep him busy, and before I know it he will be grown up and have a family his own . These good times I have with him now as he is growing are what I call "Before I know it moments." I cherish these moments. We have to focus on every moment in this life especially the good ones. We have to relish in this time, we need to take advantage of these because before you know it they will be gone. Right now in my life, in your life, this very moment is a before you know it moment. Don't let it slip away, it deserves your total attention and focus. Have a good day and as usual comments are welcome.---Keith
Have you ever met, or are you a person who has a hard time finding the right words to express how you are feeling? Many people don't know how to voice their needs. They feel like no one will care, or they feel like their feelings are not important enough for someone else to be bothered with. A person may be to shy to share their feelings. This is an issue in our society. What do you have to loose by expressing how you feel to others? If we have a problem with someone we should let them know. If we love someone we should let them know. Our emotions will come to the service somehow, someway. If we let them build up we may show these emotions in unhealthy ways. Emotions are part of life. Having needs are part of life. Why should we be afraid to express them and ask for what we need, to get these needs met? Have a good day.---Keith
One of the hardest things for me in life is realizing that some things are beyond my control, and then letting it go. As humans we like to think we have control of situations when in reality we don't really control much of anything. We have somewhat control of our decisions of course, but anything can happen at any given time and we are vulnerable in this life open to whatever life throws at us. Things control us such as worry. We worry about issues we can't control, at some point we just have to let go because there isn't a thing in the world we can do to resolve something that will be resolved on life's time not ours. Admitting we don't have control over something can produce anxiety. After all nobody likes to admit we can't have control over something, but life controls us, we don't control it. The sooner we live our life on life's terms the more at peace we will feel. The serenity prayer helps with this:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The power to change the things I can, and the wisom to know the difference. Try to say this to yourself everyday and see if it helps. Have a good day and as always comments are welome.---Keith |
AuthorKeith Kelly currently lives in Rio Rancho New Mexico. Archives
October 2020
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