We are all placed on earth for a reason, purpose, or assignment, however, you want to view it. Wherever we are at a particular time in our life, I feel is where we supposed to be in our assignment. If we are leading regular lives, that's what our assignment is, if we are rich or famous, etc. that's our assignment. If we have a Ford, that's what supposed to be. If our neighbor has a Cadillac, and we wish we had it, or we are jealous of our neighbor, that is foolish, because if it is not our assignment to have what he has at that particular time, it wouldn't work for us, because it is not our assignment. The question is, do you have enough self-confidence, enough security in yourself to fulfill your assignment, whatever it may be. If we long for more, we will be unhappy. Whatever supposed to happen will happen. People try to attain things or life status outside their assignment and they are unhappy, if you supposed to have a Cadillac or be famous, rich, whatever, it will happen. Focus on being happy with what you have not what you don't. If your assignment supposed to change, it will, so be happy and accept things for what they are at any particular time in your life.
Here is an interesting article I found in Psychology Today: Why is it so hard to find our life purpose? There certainly is no short supply of problems in this world that need solving. There is no limit on the number of people whom we could help, or inspire, or support. There is no cap on the number of passions we could pursue. Yet, our life purpose often feels just out of view. There are many reasons why you may not know your life purpose. Sometimes it's because the world's problems seem too big. Or we seem too small. Or maybe we are just exhausted from life and don't know where we'll find the energy to fight for what really matters to us. I talk a lot about how to find life purpose and meaning in my new book, Outsmart Your Smartphone: Conscious Tech Habits for Finding Happiness, Balance, and Connection IRL. So if you want to find your life purpose, here are the key steps from the book to follow. Step 1: Find out what drives you When I was a teenager I was at a party and came upon a friend of mine. Her head was cast downward, her bangs were in front of her eyes, and she was squeezing her hand into a tight fist. As I approached, I noticed something red on her hand. It was blood! I rushed over to her, grabbing her hand, demanding that she let me help her. Finally, after much prodding, she opened her hand. Laying in her palm was a piece of glass, glass that she had been squeezing as hard as she possibly could. It was then I realized that she was intentionally making her hand bleed. She was so unhappy that she squeezed that piece of glass until blood was dripping on the floor. I didn’t know it at the time, but this moment was the first in a series of moments that would show me my life's purpose. In the years that followed, I saw the scars of self-burning, the glazed-over eyes that come with extensive drug use, and the skin that hangs off a body that is being intentionally starved. I witnessed the depths of depression and the heights of mania, suicide attempts and near overdoses. It turns out that a person can only see so much pain before becoming driven to stop it. Or at least that's what happened to me. So one way to find your purpose is to ask yourself: What pain or injustice or unhappiness have you witnessed that you just can't live with? Is there anything that touches you so deeply that it drives you? Often, a powerful purpose can come from powerful pain. Step 2: Find out what energizes you It was a sunny but cool spring morning. I had just started my shift at the addiction rehab center where I worked. As usual, I went to the backyard to make sure none of the teenagers were smoking on the back roof. One of them was, so I told him go back inside. He spent the next eight hours cussing at me, right up until the moment my shift ended. This was the day I learned that your can burn out your life purpose if you pursue it in the wrong ways — ways that deplete rather than energize you. It is not enough to know the problem you want to solve, you have to think carefully about the way that you want to solve it. So to find your life purpose, ask yourself: What energizes you? Step 3: Find out what you are willing to sacrifice for. Feeling deflated and defeated after working at the addiction rehab center, I paused to ask myself what I really wanted to do. I don't know about you, but often I think I want to do something, but I don't end up following through or putting in the work required to succeed — a sign that whatever it was, it wasn't really important enough to me to sacrifice for. This time was different, though. I decided I wanted to go to graduate school to study emotion and mental health to figure out how, exactly, to solve the mental health issues I saw all around me. This time, I listened to GRE words on my iPod during my lunch break at work. I volunteered in a research lab on my days off. I studied and wrote and learned until I passed out from exhaustion, while preparing my graduate school applications. This willingness to sacrifice didn't end when I got into graduate school. I worked relentlessly to the point of burnout. Now, I'm not recommending that you sacrifice to the point of burnout. All I'm saying is that when you find something that you are willing to sacrifice a lot for, you know that you've found your purpose. So ask yourself: What are you willing to sacrifice for? Step 4: Find out who you want to help. I have taught hundreds of students across four different universities, developed well-being-boosting products, and helped organizations create programs and positive technologies that have reached more than a million people worldwide. But perhaps the biggest impact I had was when I mentored a student my first year in graduate school. Always eager to learn, she'd smile big, excited about each new project and responsibility. At the end of our time working together, she became the first person in her family to graduate college. Even though most Psychology Ph.D.s help students in universities, help customers or employees in companies, or help clients as therapists, I feel most in line with my life purpose when I support the change-makers: the people who will make this world a happier, healthier, better place. In fact, most of my work now focuses on doing just this: consulting with entrepreneurs and organizations to help them build products that increase happiness. To find your life purpose, ask yourself: Who do you want to help? There are many ways to chip away at the same problem, and it's up to you to find out who you want to help. By figuring out the specific person or people you want to help, you can more easily find your purpose. Step 5: Find out how you want to help. When I first started working with entrepreneurs, I helped in any way I could. I conducted research, ran statistics, and created surveys. This is what I knew and was good at, but it didn't energize me (remember Step 2). As I acquired more and more clients with different needs, I found a real passion for product development and content creation. Yup! I like to write and like to create. I'm even sitting here on a Saturday afternoon writing this article... because I feel like it. Ask yourself: What do you love to do? And how do you apply this passion to your purpose? To find your purpose, you need to figure out how you can best use your passions and skills to achieve your unique goals and solve your unique problems. Taking the steps to find your life purpose Finding your life purpose is a life-long journey. It's okay to take it one step at a time. It's normal to pause and reevaluate regularly. And it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Nothing worth doing is easy, and this will not always be easy. You will encounter frustrations and challenges along the way. Some days, you'll throw your hands up in the air in defeat. But then you'll remember Step 1. You're driven to solve this problem, and for some reason, you won't let yourself give up. Tchiki Davis, Ph.D.
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I have been writing since I was about fifteen years old. I will be fifty-one next month. I have written five novels and a book of poetry. I had two novels under a publishing company for years, but I decided to end my relationship with them. I have since been picked up by another company and my new novels will be published shortly. It has been a long road. It was long waiting for novels to publish with my old company. Leaving that company and finding another, and now waiting for my other novels to publish has been a lengthy process of years. When I talk to writers or musicians or even my client's at my real job, I like to tell them a story I read about Sylvester Stallone.
In the early seventies when he wrote the story Rocky, he tried to sell the story for years and studios wanted it, but they didn't want him to be the star. He wanted to be the star so he refused to sell it and he kept looking for a company who would take the movie script and accept him as being the star, "Rocky." He basically gave up everything and even had his utilities cut off, but still, he refused to sell the movie without himself as the star. He never gave up. Finally, Universal Studios bought his movie with him being Rocky. The rest is history. "Never give up".-- Keith I think most kids learn to drive long before they receive their driver's license. I know I did. Do you remember when you first learned to drive and who taught you? My sister taught me to drive on my Grandfather's farm in a sixty-two Ford or Chevy truck, I can't remember exactly. It was a three speed in the column, which was not the easiest thing to learn to drive on. I was twelve or thirteen. She let me drive on the old country roads, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever and I felt all grown up and important. I guess this was probably in 1980 when I was twelve. The next time we feel all grown up and important is when we get our license. It is such a big life deal when your fifteen, but we find, or at least I did, that that I was hauling around every pre-teen kid in the neighborhood and that got old quickly. Before too long it becomes old hat just like everything else in life. Nowadays, I try to get out of driving places as much as I can. Have a good day everyone.---Keith
It's human nature to judge other people in some way. I find it an easy thing to do. The surface reasons we judge other people are countless, but the underlying reason, below it all, is our own fear. We judge anything different. In general as humans, we fear anything different. What we don't realize sometimes is that the person we are judging may be someone who can really enhance our lives in some way, or maybe not, if we judge them not giving them a chance. Point is, if we judge others, we could miss out on knowing a good-hearted person. Not fair is it? Our own fears get in our way. In the end, when we judge, we are the ones who lose. I issue a challenge to you, the reader, as well as myself. Our assignment for today is to not judge anyone, can we do it?---Keith
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AuthorKeith Kelly currently lives in Rio Rancho New Mexico. Archives
October 2020
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